Random

To the Mexican (I think) chef that could not find a hooker; What were you going to do if we found one? Bring her home to your wife?

Random

Hey Don from the Coalbanks. I think you need to change your diaper or underwear and stop drinking so much. My cab smelled like rotten shit for over an hour even after a good dousing of air freshener and Lysol. Three trips later I had a guy comment to his friend "Man, did you just shit yourself?".

Thanks a lot asshole.

Downtown Lethbridge

Something bad happened near the XXXXXX, pretty much next to the XXXXXX Inn. Police had the scene taped off and the CSI van was present.

XXXXXX Gang Beating

Apparently this guy got in a fight in the liquor store and beat up the other guy. When he came outside the store he was beaten up by all the other guys friends. As the police arrived on the scene he managed to gain consciousness and get up off the ground. You can see the manager of the liquor store trying to protect the scene, he is holding the bat like object.

Random

This strange lady was in her late 30's or early 40's and had an 18 year old son.

Me: "Is that a cat in your backpack?"

Her: "Yes I hope that's ok."

Me: "Yeah that's fine. Where are you off to?"

Her: "I want to go to Studio 54."

I start driving and about half way there...

Me: "So are you actually going to take the cat into the bar with you?"

Her: "What have you never seen a girl with a pussy in the bar before?"

Me: "Not a girl with two, I guess now you can go around and ask all the guys if they want to rub your pussy."

Her: (Silent)

Me: (Wondering if that was appropriate)

So we arrive at the bar

Her: After pulling her money out of her bra "Damn these big boobs come in handy sometimes"

Me: "They sure do"