I remember a customer a few months back telling me "You can only masturbate so many times in one day before it starts to hurt, what else can I do? I'm retired."
I actually like this guy, he is in his mid 30's and had a stroke a few years back which has made him dependant on a cane.
He likes his sports and called me out on not knowing which CFL teams were playing today (Sunday). He really is quite an interesting character and mentioned to the effect that he was a real Canadian for knowing what was going on in the CFL and which Canadian NHL teams were playing when and where (implying that I was not a real Canadian, jokingly of course,)
He embarrassed me for about 3 seconds and I hope he enjoyed jerking himself to pain while eating his hot dogs.