The above photos courtesy of Danny Ponomar at http://www.dapo.ca/



Thursday, July 31, 2008

Strange XXXXXX...Do They Come In Any Other Way?

I was picking up a homeless XXXXXX man yesterday. While loading his drunken ass, as well as his walker, I heard this screaming from down the street. I looked over and this large XXXXXX guy was stomping his feet in the middle of the intersection and yelling very loud that he was going to kill someone.

I ended up having to go that way because of a construction detour and while passing him he was screaming obscenities and spat on the road.

I am sure he ended up in jail; perhaps back home.

Fare Paid...

So I walked into the office the other day and the dispatcher gives me $30 and tells me some guy came in and wanted to pay me his $18 fare and was sorry it was late.

I was dumbfounded by this new found wealth. I could not think of anyone that owed me $18. A couple hours later it hit me...

..I picked up a lone male from a popular weekend bar a few weeks earlier. I drove him to his destination. Upon arrival my passenger got out of the car, started looking through his pockets, then proceeded to run through an empty field near a church.

There was no way I was going to chase him on foot so I drove down the nearest alley where I presumed he might be heading. I noticed him walking behind me so I turned around in the alley and drove towards him.

I entered onto a main roadway and witnessed him walking down the sidewalk. I approached him and pulled the car over. To my surprise he decided to get back in the car. At this point I had requested the police to come on the charges of Taxi Fraud. When the male got in I asked him why he had ran and such and such. He started talking complete gibberish about some cigars and kept asking me why was I not taking him anywhere.

The police arrived a short time later and questioned the male. I was standing outside the cab witnessing the questioning. The male could not provide the officer any identification and could not remember his own birth date. He was shortly arrested and I went on my way. Having to pay for the majority of his fare out of my own pocket.

In conclusion, if that was you that left me the $30 I appreciate that you have since sobered up and had the conscience to rectify your mistake.

In addition, I realize that when people drink they may become quite intoxicated and part of my job is to provide transportation to these individuals.

The new laws in my province of Canada may provide some relief to the binge drinking that occurs on a daily basis. I am interested in seeing the effects, if any, these stringent regulations have on local bars.

Welfare Checks Spent

Casino's, Bingo Halls, Liquor Stores, Hotels, and Crack dealers... The checks have been spent in record time...

I am sure you will survive in the meantime, from the hard working individuals spending their money on exactly the same.

Have you ever heard.. "I got my check and I want to spend $200 on my kid, but by tomorrow I will have nothing left".

I never said it but if you were not on this crack run with me then maybe you would have some money to spend on your kid. I could write a book about bad, often horrible, parenting.

Often these crack whores have children, perhaps multiple children for all I know.

Point is crack and other drugs leave a huge burden on society. One of the sad parts is the Canadian Government supports these losers by providing them a monthly check, for doing nothing.

If I was a crack addict I would definitely be looking forward to my welfare check near the end of the month. That must buy a lot of crack for some people.

In addition; My apologies for the well deserving welfare check recipients that spend the governments money wisely. I know you are few and far between.

Stoned

So I am driving down a main street in Lethbridge and I notice all of the huge flower pots located along the street have been overturned and a couple of the barrels are on the street. I look over at this gang of people, mostly males and the one guy tips over a couple of mail boxes.

Obviously on a rampage I asked my dispatcher to phone the police. The police asked me to stay with them. I watch them travelling through the alleys and cut them off on another street. One guy calmly approached the cab like he wanted to get in. I pulled away and he starts running after me. He threw a beer bottle or something which hit the car. I was on the radio saying where I was and what was happening when another cab pulled up.

The guy and his 2 buddies start threatening the other cab driver and wanted to fight him. All of a sudden these guy start throwing rocks at us. Now there is damage to both of our vehicles and we pursued these guys till the bitter end.

They were skipping through alleys and trying to lose us, but we pursued vigilantly. Every once in a while I would hear something loud hit the cab. They kept throwing rocks and small concrete blocks at our cars. The objects seemed to come out of nowhere, at this point the gang pretty much turned into 3 or 4 people. The police station is about a 28 second drive to the scene. When they arrived 45 minutes into the incident we had been ravaged by bricks, concrete, rocks, etc.

The police did catch the criminals and I am sure they are awaiting trial. I was very surprised that none of the cab windows broke but there was significant dents and paint damage to both of our cars.

They could have gotten away easily if they had not kept coming back for more.

Are You Pissing On My Cab?

I picked up a flag at a bar and took him to another bar. This XXXXXX "player" guy said he had to run into the bar to get me money. I decided to go in with him. He is standing at the ATM machine and all of a sudden he briskly proceeds to leave the bar. At this point I figured he had no money and I was not going to get paid.

I follow him outside and he is standing beside the cab. I ask him what he is doing and he says nothing. He is leaning against the car and looking down and I cannot see him that well. I walk around to the other side of the car so I can see what he is doing. The first thing out of my mouth was "What the fuck are you doing, pissing on my car"? He says, "Oh nothing, don't worry bout it"?

I didn't take it personally, I figured he really just had to go. I was upset and demanded he stop and he was pretty much finished already. I follow him back inside and he withdraws from the ATM. We are in the entrance when he gives me 20 bucks and he wants his change, so I give him 15 bucks and proceed to leave. As I am leaving I swear the bouncer thought I was selling drugs or something, but when I got into the cab he probably just laughed.

So I got my petty 5 bucks and am back on the road with a nice side of pee. I didn't wash the car untill the end of the night and no one seemed to notice that someone pissed on the car.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Just Fucked - Slow Death

I picked up this fellow from out of town last night. He opened the passenger door and passed out and fell onto the concrete pavement behind him. I asked if he was ok and he awoke quickly and said he was looking at my topsign to see what it said and lost his balance.

Unbenownced to me he had began to bleed in the car as I took him into the main city.

He did not bleed very much but I still had to pause my night to clean off the blood of this severe alcoholic. The entire way back to town I had to have my window open just to offset the smell of SHIT and PISS and LIQUOR. He was fucked and to be honest I felt bad for him about the things that he said to me that had affected his life.

Note to anyone reading this; Please shower at least once a month.

After the trip and cleaning off his blood I was almost ready to puke myself.

90 Days in Jail

I picked up at a local bar in town and the "gentleman" wanted to go out to one of the local XXXXXX Reserves. When I say gentleman, I mean he kicked his woman crack whore out of the car because she did not want to go with him to the reserve (I often wonder what happened to her that night, but could honestly care less). I explained that it was a flat rate fare and that I was not able to take him onto the reserve, only to the reserve.

We puttered around town making a couple of stops and he was refused liquor at 2 liquor retailers and to make a long story short we are at the reserve boundaries....

...he tells me where to go on the reserve, I explain again to him that I will not go onto the reserve. We get into a heated argument because it had previously rained that evening and the road was muddy. As if the XXXXXX Reserve would actually put ashphalt or concrete roads on their property. Their money is better placed into casinos and liquor establishments, as I have noticed.

During our heated argument I gave "XXXXXX Guy" two options; 1 get the fuck out and walk from here, 2 I am driving back to town. IG tells me to drive back to town, which I proceed to do, IG grabs the wheel and sends my cab to the right of the road.

We are at the bottom of a coulee and my cab radio and cell phone had no reception. I had already tried to phone the police at this point and my phone was only beeping, trying to get through.

At this point IG accused me of stealing his mickey of vodka, which of course I did not do. He refused to get out of the cab until I did because he thought I would take off on him. I got out and told him to get out and look for his liquor, which I was sure that he had misplaced. While I was out of the car he got out as well, at that point I jumped back in the car, put it in drive, and floored it in an effort to get the hell out of there.

Somehow IG managed to fall back in the cab and grabbed the wheel again putting the cab close to the ditch. I knew I would not be able to maneuver the coulee with IG steering me off course.

At that point he was in the car with me and I was yelling at him, he then said that he was going to kill me and scalp me on the side of the road, all the while having his right hand in his coat pocket. I took him very seriously at this point, I decided it was in my best interest to get out of the car right away, which I did. I remember walking up the hill away from the scene trying to get a hold of the police. I looked back at the cab and could not see anything, It was night and pitched black.

I kept stopping only to listen if he was following me, when I realized no one was following me I finally got a hold of the police, the city police, I told them generally what happened and where I was and the dispatcher put me on hold to transfer me to the RCMP, because I was out of the city limits. At this point my phone was dying and when I got a hold of the RCMP I again told them where I was, the last thing I remember saying to the RCMP dispatcher was "do you need any more information" and my phone died.

It turned out that they had no idea where I really was. The dispatcher at our taxi office eventually phoned the police which I believe led to them finally finding me. After walking approximately 4km in the dark and not knowing if IG was still there I was not turning back. At one point I thought that the police thought I was just pranking them.

Finally what felt like 1.5 hours later an RCMP cruiser drover by me and picked me up.

Long story short the RCMP got a warrant from Calgary and busted IG in his home. I was later picked up by a taxi and drove home from the office. I was later called to identify the suspect. I went out to the scene and positively identified the suspect. I later picked up my six pack of beer.

Some facts are missing from this story, due to me being tired, and these facts will be added soon.

Cross Dressing Freak Father of Two "he/she"

I can not understand how a father of one child, with another on the way, would alter his apearance to look more like a woman.

I picked up from a local mall a male and female couple (not the first time I have had these customers). The male was wearing a low-cut black t-shirt, completely exposing his fat belly. His shirt was obviously stuffed with something in order to make his boobs look more like a womans.

The freak had medium blond hair and wore no underwear under the tight blue jeans "he/she" was wearing. Maybe I am a little out of touch but I do not understand why a man would stuff his shirt to make his boobs look bigger and walk around the mall dressed like a teenage slut, all the while, with his girlfriend.

He spoke normal, but was dressed like a 13 year old girl. I hope your children turn out ok. When you explained to me that the XXXXXX Shelter told you to go back home and would not support you because you had no plan for normal entry into society; a job, a plan, a goal, ect. perhaps they were right.

You fucking idiot, you have no job, one child and one on the way, you dress like you want to get fucked up the ass and you expect to get a job while living with the grandmother of your child? I am sorry, you seem like a nice guy to talk with, but WHAT THE FUCK. Lose the stuffed bra and makeup and become the real father of your children. Leave the crossdressing slutty teenage girl outfit for the bedroom with your fat ass girlfriend.

P.S. You should think twice about spending $80 on your freak ass hair cut and spend the money on your KID. I feel bad for grandma giving you money so you can spend it on becomming more of a transexual crossdressing freak while she babysits your kid.

My point is, get your priorities straight.

Update:

I have recently been informed by another driver that the surgery needed to be performed before this guy "officially" becomes a woman will be subsidized by the Alberta Government. What? I forget the reasoning behind it other than mental wellbeing but as taxpayers we are paying for guys to have their dicks chopped off and some surgical hole inserted. I am outraged.

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