The above photos courtesy of Danny Ponomar at

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Why Not?

The other night was one of the most interesting experiences I have ever had.

So I came up with this plan to be hogtied, handcuffed, and gagged. The plan was to drop me off at the emergency room and just let the events unfold. I realized soon after that this stunt could actually put someone’s life in jeopardy while they were helping me. So that plan was abandoned… My fantasy was not.

We came up with a new plan. One key to my handcuffs was to be taped to the inside of my shoe; the other key was with her, along with my identification.

I explained earlier to the officer at the police station that I was inquiring into the legalities of what I was about to do and if I could be arrested and charged with anything. I went right into it and said my plan included my arms being tied up with rope while handcuffed. I mentioned that I would be wearing a mask and a gag, also I would be wearing a collar and leash and someone would be leading me around.

After consulting with the police to understand the possible ramifications of our actions I was basically assured that as long as I was sober, wearing shorts, not harassing people, not waving at vehicles (for some reason that is illegal, I doubt that), and not going on private property that I was cool to do what I wanted.

The officer on duty informed me of an indecency law which I was not planning on violating by wearing shorts. He also mentioned that I may be subject to an arrest based on the Mental Health Act of Alberta, which would require a psychiatric evaluation. I believe this evaluation must be performed by a psychologist and they can hold you for 72 hours with a reasonable amount of certainty of a mental problem.

In this case I would have been able to convince the police that I was completely sober and had consented to everything that they had stopped me for. It was a good step to take.

So we took both of our vehicles and found parking quite easily near the Exhibition Park Fairgrounds during Whoop-Up Days, tonight is Midnight Madness and fuck it why not. I parked my vehicle about 150 yards North of the main gate. Her vehicle was parked 150 yards South of the main gate. We wanted to have our bases covered for a quick exit and taxis were also available at the main gate.

I assisted her in tying me up and putting on all the gear. First was the rope around my forearms (the handcuffs came later), then she put the white mask on my face. This was not just any mask; it was spandex and had zippers over each eye and one over the mouth. All three were open because I wanted to see (at least somewhat). Then we put on the collar and attached the leash, or maybe we put the gag on first. Anyway we were fast at work and ready to hit the street.

She got out of the car and opened my door, grabbed the leash, and we went to work. The first comment I heard was “I should smack you in the face” by some random guy. It was quite difficult for me to see and I was never able to look anyone in the eye (not that I wanted to). So I felt like we were off to a negative start. We really did not know what to expect from people in terms of their reactions to us. We knew this was going to be a busy place at that time of night on that particular day and we went ahead with our plan.

As she was leading me around I could only gauge people from their reactions verbally and once physically. I could only see well enough to avoid running into people or things, all the while being completely aware of where I was and what I was doing.

These are in no particular order, just what I remember:

I heard “I know that, that’s public humiliation.” She was pretty much spot on with that comment.

One dude yelled to the effect “give him a spanking, whoohoo” so she pushed me up against the fence of the Henderson Lake Golf Course, grabbed her flogger/whip, and gave me a few lashings right outside the main gate of the fair.

A group of girls asked me from across the street “are you ok man?” and because I had the gag in my mouth I lifted up my roped arms and handcuffed hands to give them the thumbs up.

These two other guys that were wearing costumes got the only picture of us. I had seen them walking around while we were parking. The one guy was wearing a green spandex type superhero uniform, he was accompanied by his blue spandex wearing superhero buddy. They were pretty cool and asked if they could take a picture, I nodded and they took one picture. I wish I had it.

When she saw younger children she pulled me aside to the parking area/bushes/trees/lake, but keep in mind this is Midnight Madness and its Midnight…so why not bring some real madness, and we did.

At one point she tied me to a pole with my leash and told me to sit on the ground. She then left me there briefly while teasing me as people were walking by in amazement of what they were looking at. While this was happening two young women that were walking across the street actually sat down to watch what was going on and eventually asked what we were doing.

There was no response from us because if you have to ask then you just have no clue. Now you have a clue, your first time seeing something like that maybe? Well it was the first time each of us has ever done that, at least at that level and in public.

I must have spent like 10 hours thinking and/or planning this activity to the finest detail. The “Show” if you will lasted around half an hour if I remember correctly. It was well worth the planning, especially had something gone wrong and we needed to rely on plan B or C.

She tried at one point to tie me to a tree but I think it was just a cover because some kids were coming by or she needed a break, I don’t know. Maybe she thought I needed a break but I remember her asking me at some other point “did those kids go by” I had not seen very many young kids and I’m glad we were able to hide a bit while they passed by. She didn’t use the whip a lot which was ok with me, but she definitely gave me a few good ones, while I am sure people were watching.

It was pretty intense, especially when she left me, which I was not expecting and even asked her very specifically not to do under basically any circumstance. I did not want to be left alone. I do trust this woman very much and I knew that she was not going to leave me. I could also see that she was just walking around her vehicle and maybe just watching me from a distance beyond the leash. She walked around the vehicle and came back and unleashed me from the pole.

Still in my handcuffs and rope bindings she made me sit on the ground as a few groups of people walked by. I am not going to lie I think it was a bit shocking to most people. I think the people giggling or even laughing were even less shocked than the people just minding their own business and walking by not having a clue of what they just saw or what to think of it.

What we did right was to mind our own business as we walked down a city sidewalk. As a matter of fact I was harassed by the public more than I harassed the public. It was expected, at least I had thought of it and other worst case scenarios. Being handcuffed is serious shit that I have had slight troubles just on my own getting them off (when put on incorrectly in an awkward position).

People were mostly positive about seeing us, a lot of people just laughed or giggled. One guy smacked me in the chest and said “way to go bro”. Other people were like “yeah dude, I want some of that”, at least that is how it sounded to me. All the cars that were driving by slowly had a good look also. All in all a very cool night and an interesting experience.

Oh and the police never became involved because we did nothing wrong. Once we were in the vehicle I wanted to go for one more pass but she convinced me to leave on a high note. It was a good call because as she was driving past the main gate to drop me off at my vehicle there were two police officers talking to someone at the main gate. For what reason I will never know.


Anonymous said...

I thought I'd come accross an escaped circus act in passing...

Then I somehow stumble accross this, and to my surprise, thinking I'd have to sleep never knowing what it was I had witnessed that day... a full, detailed explanation.

Fantastic blog, cheers guy.

- M

taxiguy said...

Thanks for the comment.

I have been patiently awaiting one. I was wondering if it really applied to the site.

It doesn't except it does have the word taxi in it.

Anonymous said...

It really doesn't fit at all hahaha, but never the less entertaining to read. I would have expected more replies to this post.


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