The above photos courtesy of Danny Ponomar at

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Elderly Lady Robbed Downtown

I was driving my own vehicle downtown about a week ago when this old lady flagged me down in front of the XXXXXX bank on 5th street S.

She told me someone stole her purse and her car keys. I didn't have my phone on me (stupid me) and could not really help her. I asked what they looked like and she gave me a common description and the direction they went. I told her she could phone the police at the payphone across the street.

The direction the guy ran in was towards the alley behind the XXXXXX. I drove down the alley and there was a gang of XXXXXX outside the back door. I drove by slow and did not see a purse. I was not about to question them about it either. I probably would have been robbed and they would have stole my car.

The following is the itinerary for a XXXXXX criminal living in Lethbridge Alberta. Please note that this is not an itinerary for XXXXXX people, but XXXXXX criminals.

7:00am - Four day peyote trip wears off
7:01am - Sleep
7:02am - Wake up to police asking why I am sleeping in the park downtown and have pissed and shat myself
7:30am - Arive at the police station in the patty wagon with all my other buddies
10:00am - Given a hot breakfast and fresh clothes
12:00am - Released because of over crowding. (Welfare checks were issued the previous day and many are completely wasted drunk and rounded up and they need the room)
12:30am - Cash my welfare check
12:45am - Hit the XXXXXX Liquor store on 6th ave and 5th street, buy a Big Bear beer,
12:46am - Drink the Big Bear beer
12:47am - Back to Lethbridge Liquor for another Big Bear beer
1:00pm - Hit the XXXXXX to find some crack and maybe a hooker or two
1:01pm - Fuck a hooker while she hits the crack pipe (think: damn your good)
1:20pm - Back to the XXXXXX and get in a fight with four horns donky lover wolfchild
1:30pm - Buy another Big Bear beer at XXXXXX Liquor
2:00pm - Get weed from the drug dealer living at the XXXXXX
3:00pm - Steal something from a pawn shop
3:10pm - Pawn stolen goods at another pawn shop
3:15pm - Get transportation from the nearest Elementary School before class ends and steal some little kids bike
4:00pm - Cruise downtown and try to make a couple drug deals
4:01pm -Get a Big Bear beer from XXXXXX Liquor before drug deals
5:00pm - Pass out drunk behind XXXXXX Liquor store, or wherever is close by
10:00pm - Wake up
10:05pm - Get Big Bear beer from XXXXXX Liquor and head downtown
10:15pm - Notice someone riding the bike you stole fair and square from the elementary school and give chase
10:20pm - Give up on chase and puke out guts, (think: if I were at the police station or in jail I would get something to eat.)
10:30pm - Rob some poor old lady in her car in front of the bank
10:35pm - Empty contents of purse and discard anything not of value
10:40pm - Blend in at the XXXXXX as to not get caught as easily
1:30am - Get thrown out onto the street before closing time because I pissed my pants and smashed a Big Bear beer bottle on the floor
2:00am - Buy a lot more crack (think: when is the next welfare check coming)
3:00am - Cruise the neighborhood looking for easy scores
3:30am - Get stabbed behind the XXXXXX for asking and elder to suck my dick
7:00am - Wake up and think: all in a days work, I wonder what good deeds I shall do today.

I guess I got off topic about the old lady getting robbed. The police arived shortly after and I think the Lethbridge Herald said she was 83 years old. I felt bad but she should have had more common sence to know not to withdrawal money downtown at 11:00pm alone.

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