The above photos courtesy of Danny Ponomar at

Saturday, February 5, 2011

A sad story retold in the first person as I remember it being told to me

When the cab arrived I got in and told the driver where I was going. I was pretty drunk because I really don't drink that often and asked if I could smoke a joint in the car if I rolled the window down. The driver said no.

I don't know why but I started telling the driver about the time my grandfather, who was like a father to me because he basically raised me, had died in a car crash.

I remember moments before the crash seeing a red car and there was no way to avoid it and my grandpa swerved and took the brunt of the impact on his side of the vehicle. I remember the EMS was working on him and had given me hope that he was still alive but I knew he was already dead and was trying to block out the scene in my mind.

My family was blaming me for his death because I was begging for him to give me a ride to school that day and he did not want to because there was a blizzard. After my persistent request for a ride to school my grandpa decided to give me the ride and my family believed that if it were not for me wanting a ride to school that day he would still be alive.

I couldn't handle the stress of watching my grandpa die before my eyes and my family was blaming me for his death and that same day, Jan 1st 2008, I decided to try and kill myself. I was in my house and had the rope tied around my neck and was standing on the chair when my brother knocked on the door. I told him to go away but he would not take no for an answer and I finally took the rope off from around my neck and stepped off the chair to go smoke a joint with him outside and talk to him about what happened.

There is not a day that goes by in my life that I don't think about what happened and after overdosing three times on the prescribed medication I was given my psychologist and attorney agreed that I should just smoke weed so that is what I do now.

I don't have a prescription but I used to be in a gang so I have some good hookups, I basically just call up my old buddies and say I need an eighth on credit and I get hooked up no problem.

This is the place thanks for the ride man.


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